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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, giving her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not everyone enjoys being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought recording a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their bond?